Colin's Creatures

Here's just the overall plot.

Undead Love
When your friend is killed in a car accident you live, many began to occur. Especially when he is not dead, his parents have decided life on the machine, it's like not living at all. So they cut the staff of life and death of their only son.

But once it passes through the Golden Gates realizes his god made a mistake, and Colin decides he wants another chance, but there is a trap. Even God can give life to someone's back, they have to make a sacrifice.
Colin takes as a joke, and is reborn as a creature.

But Colin did not realize he is not really the man until he makes contact with his girlfriend, Sarah.
Sarah did not take it well, she thinks it's a joke in bad taste, and that's when Colin realizes nobody knows his lifetime.
Colin began to hide in the shadows, but is never far away from Sarah.

Sarah soon starts to believe that bad joke is not really a joke. She sees her face almost everywhere, and soon they will charge up his grave to prove his illness and never clams once and for all.
But everyone thinks she is going crazy, so she goes to the cemetery, digging his grave. When she finally reaches the Covin and opens it, she finds his empty.

She runs to tell his friends, but little did she know, Colin felt like an outcast and decided to return to the cemetery where he felt he belonged. He finds his Covin and establishes with her-in. A few hours later friends and family are once again standing around the coffin of Colin. Sarah opens the lid to see Colin slept inside. She screams in disbelief and his parents to touch her shoulders, you have done enough harm, but as they begin to take her car. The lid opens and Colin gets up and shouted: "She's right, I'm not dead".
Colin explains what happened.
But nothing is normal.
The adventure continues to this day, we never not that crazy, Sachem Colin will be the next plan.

Wow that was so interesting

When I looked, I was like this is too long I can not be bothered, but once I read the first sentence I was fully engaged and I was hired thought the whole thing.

wow

you have talent

This is not a typical story which is what I

Oh, and by the way, God is spelled with a capital G

and the ending so unexpected, I mean, how does it turn a creature to a man

mystery keeps the reader interested and thought

Nobody likes EMO EMO GO READ TWILIGHT Or something

This is too cool and amazing I want to read more!

lol the plot has many twists defenitly interesting id say work on the end think it should be done differently in the end he drops but otherwise Grade A + + + +

man good job

Is an interesting idea ... but you fell into the trap of having everyone do what it takes to advance the plot, instead of thinking what they had done.

No, a girl who everyone thinks is crazy is not simply going to be left alone to dig a grave in a cemetery. Six feet under is a lot of digging, it will take several hours. Somebody will see and will be quickly restrained and arrested. Besides they would not just leave an open grave unattended after leaving him free to walk in and get in it.

Like I said, great idea, but you have implausible plot devices there. I'm sure you can find a way to circumvent if you think about it - and it is your story much stronger.

You are 10 years and do not understand the difference between "its" and
"It"? Y.